A Raise In Salary

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

• I do physical labor.
• I work at great depths.
• I plunge head first into everything i do.
• I do not get weekends off or public holidays.
• I work in a damp environment.
• I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
• I work in high temperatures.
• My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Thank you for considering my request.The penis………

The response:

Dear Mr. Penis,

After assessing your request,And considering the arguments you haveRaised, the administration rejects yourRequest for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep on the job after work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas.
You do not take initiative-you need to be pressured and stimulated inOrder to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective gear.
It’s doubtful you’ll work until normal retirement age of 65.
You’re unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the days work.
And if that were not all you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags…..

Sincerely,The Management